Not that I've been hit with a non-cooking spur. But most nights I'm eating kimchee and noodles or other less glamorous/bachelorette type foods.
This will be a story of my night in preparation to the actual dinner part. It is an epic and gruesome struggle. Be forewarned...
After 3 days of store bought tomato sauce and pasta (well I added other things to change it up each day), I decided I would eat pasta for dinner again. Since all the jar sauce was all used up, pasta salad it was! Some left of tortillas, granted by the freezer, made some sweet vessels for the salad.
My apartment is not centrally heated or cooled. Hi window AC unit. Hi old fashioned space heater (seriously, my mom saw it and went "Well I haven't seen one of those in 20 years!!!) Talk about old school! This yields a very slight fruit fly problem every now and then. Maybe once a week I will smash two or three. Anyway, I made amends with Oliver, my darling pet hedgehog, and he's taken up residence in my larger closet. *shock TWO closets in a studio?! Yes it is possible. AND HARDWOOD FLOORS BITCH* Because of the lack in central air, I was concerned that my fly problem would go haywire like the time it did when I didn't take out the trash for 3 days. My trashcan can fit about 5 days worth of trash, but my tolerance for flies is much much shorter. It's been about a week since Oliver moved in, and the flies were...a LITTLE worse, but not full blown out terrible like the 3 days of collected garbage. So, I figure we were good.
Fast forward to dinner. I boiled up some wheat spirals and some corn. Then cut up a bit of red onion and some leaf lettuce (well it *is* pasta SALAD). Onto the dressing. A little bit of mustard, mayo, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, and mix. *mix, mix, mix WHOA FLY* Little bitty annoying and pesky tiny fruit fly. So i put the bowl down...and wait for a moment to strike. A science experiment in highschool taught me that one fly...could make...MILLIONS (okay more like thousands...hundreds) Seeing one land, I show no mercy. *CLAP* Since they're too small for fly swatters I have to assassinate with my bare hands. After washing my hands I spot two more millimeters away from my dressing. Waving them away I quickly dress my waiting and naked salad and wisely cover it with a screen. Set the bowl down to attract the vermin. HOLY FUCK. Out of no where ...a swarm of these little bugs are zooming every which way landing on the bowl with remnants of the dressing, trying to get through the screen to my salad, crawling around the lid of my vinegar. GROSS!!!
As a master fly killer, a title which I earned the sophomore year of college. Thank you roommate who didn't through away your fruit peels. I've had past experience with fruit flies, if you couldn't figure that out. (hint: they like to land on mirrors)
After 10 minutes elapse, I am hungry, my hands are pained from all the clapping and smashing, there are about 14 victims in tissue paper coffins sitting in the trashcan, and still the battle is not over. After cursing Oliver and his poo for causing my woe, I bring out the big guns. Hellooooo lemon scented RAID. I make a new match of dressing to lure them in and they come like moths to a fire. In minutes there are about 8 flies that have collected for their doom. BLAST!! A massacre. I stand victorious, until I notice a a few more that were more attracted to my mixing spoon in the sink. A quick blast execution, and I decide if there are anymore, I will deal with them later, because they have delayed my dinner long enough!
Quickly I nuke and toast my tortillas, distribute the pasta salad amongst them, and feast. It is so delicious...
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